Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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