Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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