I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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