I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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