Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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