white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
