sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
