no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
