That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Success! We fucked roommates!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
