As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize