you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
