Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
