i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
