Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
