I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
