I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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