You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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