Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
