You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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