Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
