Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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