no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
