Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
