I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
