I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
