I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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