are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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