Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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