There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
