my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
