OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need a beard to bite.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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