You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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