Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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