I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
