so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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