I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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