The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The air was thick with penises
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
