Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
