He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
