three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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