Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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