He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
