Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
