I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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