How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
are you so shy because you have an std?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize