Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
