this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
