im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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