i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
