Your favorite bartender is back from prision
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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