HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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