he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
