Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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