But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
