You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize