What did we do last night that was yellow?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
