he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
