just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
someone owes me an orgasm
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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