my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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