I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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